SCIENTISTS: EARTH ENDANGERED BY NEW STRAIN OF FACT-RESISTANT HUMANS

Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans,” by Andy Borowitz (May 12th) PHOTOGRAPH BY NASA EO/REX/FEATURES VIA AP
Uncategorized
Share
Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans,” by Andy Borowitz (May 12th) PHOTOGRAPH BY NASA EO/REX/FEATURES VIA AP
Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans,” by Andy Borowitz (May 12th)
PHOTOGRAPH BY NASA EO/REX/FEATURES VIA AP

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports. The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.

From newyorker.com

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”

More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.
(….)
—Read more here: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans

Uncategorized
Mysterious Megaliths Of Russia May Offer Evidence Of An Ancient Advanced Lost Civilization
Share

Some of these massive stone blocks can be natural formations, but there are also other huge structures that seem a bit too artificial to be considered a work of Mother Nature. Related PostsThis Is the Largest Stone Block Ever Carved By Human HandsWhen They Brought These Wolves Into The Park, …

Uncategorized
Declassified Files Reveal UK Feared Soviets, Chinese Would Acquire UFO Tech
Share

Once-classified documents being called “Britain’s X-Files” have revealed that the British Ministry of Defense spent half a century hunting UFOs, driven in some part out of concern that the Soviet Union or China had already gotten their hands on alien technology. Related PostsMinistry of Defence, Britain: MoD Discovers 18 New …

Uncategorized
Europe on suicide-Watch: Salafist Scare in Sweden as Report Points to Avalanche Growth of Radical Islam
Share

The number of Islamist extremists in Sweden has risen tenfold, the Swedish Defense College wrote in a new report on the Islamist threat commissioned by the Swedish Civil Contingencies Agency (MSB). The report was called “one of a kind” as it mapped out the jihadist environment in Sweden and its …