ISIS Lays Down Arms After Katy Perry’s Impassioned Plea To ‘Like, Just Co-Exist’

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From babylonbee.com – May 25, 2017 – SilentCircle – Uncategorized – Comments Off

MAYADIN, SYRIA—Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State, released a statement Wednesday confirming that ISIS would be immediately surrendering its fight to establish a powerful caliphate after viewing an interview in which pop singer Katy Perry said, “The greatest thing we can do just unite and love on each other and like, no barriers, no borders, like, we all need to just co-exist.”

The powerful statement which single-handedly dismantled ISIS came shortly after a terrorist attack on civilians in Manchester killed 22 people, and led the reclusive head of ISIS to hold an emergency press conference declaring the group’s jihad finished.

“Despite my previous belief that we must slay the infidel in the name of Allah until Islam rules the world, I just can’t deny that Katy’s words have touched my heart,” al-Baghdadi said as he symbolically held up and then tossed an AK-47 onto the ground. “It is time for the mujahideen to start uniting and loving on people.”

“I just can’t believe we didn’t see it before. It’s all so clear now,” he added.

After the video started to go viral in ISIS cave networks and strongholds, thousands of terrorists began pouring out into the streets of Mayadin, giving one another spontaneous group hugs, destroying their weapons, and planting trees and flowers in an attempt to begin rebuilding the Middle East into a utopian wonderland.

According to reports, al-Baghdadi further confirmed that a recent advertisement in which Kendall Jenner offered a group of riot police a Pepsi was also influential in his decision to immediately cease their murderous reign of terror and lead ISIS down a path of peace.

Read more: http://babylonbee.com/news/isis-lays-arms-katy-perrys-impassioned-plea-like-just-co-exist/


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Stanford Prof: “We have proof of UFOs!”
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From ufopartisan.blogspot.co.uk Peter Sturrock is an emeritus professor of applied physics at Stanford University and one of the very few scientists who has publicly expressed a great deal of interest in UFOs and acted on that interest by twice surveying colleagues on the subject which resulted in some very surprising …

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TECH INSIDERS: ‘OUR MINDS CAN BE HIJACKED’
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From theguardian.com Google, Twitter and Facebook workers who helped make technology so addictive are disconnecting themselves from the internet. Paul Lewis reports on the Silicon Valley refuseniks who worry the race for human attention has created a world of perpetual distraction that could ultimately end in disaster. ustin Rosenstein had …

Luis Elizondo is a career intelligence officer whose experience includes working with the U.S. Army, the Department of Defense, the National Counterintelligence Executive, and the Director of National Intelligence.
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“UFOs Are Real,” says Former DoD, Intellgence Officer
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From theufochronicles.com Something extraordinary was revealed today. Former high-level officials and scientists with deep black experience who have always remained in the shadows came forward on one platform. These insiders have long-standing connections to government agencies which may have programs investigating unidentifed aerial phenomena (UAP/UFOs). The team includes a 25-year …